
Finding out your pregnant is a surreal moment in any woman's life. In fact finding out your not pregnant is equally as surreal because for most of us who do home tests, your fate rests in this little pink plus sign. You may test time and time again only to have one solo horizontal dash until that one day where two lines appear like trains colliding. Then the questioning. Are there really two perpendicular lines? Are they strong enough? Maybe it's just a shadow? Then subsequent "proof" tests follow to make sure you really are what it's saying: proof positive pregnant.
Even though I am experiencing some mild pregnancy symptoms, I'd say overall I'm feeling pretty good. But this little sign has become the captain of my ship. I am relying on its accuracy to help me make my decisions about my food, exercise, travel, and work. No immediate, tangible evidence. It's not like you find out your pregnant and you can suddenly feel a "kick" or feel inner movement. Especially not having experienced this 9 month life cycle before and experienced the fruits of this labor, I am really trusting my symptoms and my "sign" will in fact result in my little poppy seed turning into a beautiful baby with 10 fingers and 10 toes.
I always thought the day I would be a mother was the day I delivered my baby and held it in my arms. How different I feel now as I have had the opportunities for mothering moments even in this seedling stage. My mothering has begun. I have realized this little one is depending on me to look out for its overall well-being, making sacrifices and setting my priorities. I think about it and its pretty amazing in the overall scheme of things. It makes sense that you "grow" into motherhood. You have to start making small decisions and sacrifices relative to the stage of life. Decisions to not drink caffeine, eat sushi, or take Ibuprofen and to slow down on the athletic side of your life. At this point those decisions and sacrifices may be somewhat challenging, but the I'm sure the decisions and sacrifices will gradually increase as the baby increases in my belly and in my life. It's the same idea behind being overwhelmed with parenting five children. Unless you have quintuplettes, you will grow into FIVE children ONE baby at a time gradually developing and adapting new skills, abilities and confidence in you. So can I be a mother? At this point I'd say yes because on a small level the mysterious maternal instincts I have heard about seem to be present and my desire to do what's best seems to be in place. Even if its as small as a grain of rice, I am responsible to do the best on its behalf.
I am not sure if the manufactures of these little "in house" kits realize the power that lays within the little stick BUT the results are literally life changing. At this point I am not sure if I could have enough proof but I am sure grateful for the little pink plus sign.--@DP