Sunday, November 25, 2007
Think back to when you were 14 maybe 17 possibly even 6 years old and all of the plans you would lay out for your life. "I'll graduate from High school, go to college, get married at 24, get pregnant 2 years later at 26 so "we" can enjoy our time together, have 3 children..." Sound familiar to anyone? What was never taught or discussed is when you reach 24, you're done doing YOUR things, the prince of your dreams isn't just there waiting for you, in fact you haven't even met him and sit single and dating a bunch of non-committal or not-right guys which really sets your plans back a few. You get married at 26, 2 years later, after meeting many princes but not THE prince, then when it comes to having kids 2 years later, according to the plan, TRYING gets a whole new meaning, and maybe take you longer than 2. In fact trying just meant, "Kay I'm ready, let my pregnancy begin" assuming that getting pregnant simply happens. I guess what's the amazing part about life is when you project into your future, you are projecting your current self from your current age. You dream of life as you basically have known life or know it currently. So when you are 17 you look at your future from a 17 year old perspective, or from a 14 year old perspective or a 27 year old perspective. What's not taken into account is all of the unpredictable events, timing that is much bigger than your own and all of the ways you will grow-up, change, and develop your perspective and experience base. I have learned and relearned that some of the best things in my life were not planned for at all, the way the timing of the events actually happened was far better than what I could have timed, and all of the new things introduced into my life because of life's spontaneity were incredible.--@DP
Monday, November 5, 2007
On last weeks office, we were introduced to the highly exclusive Finer Things Club whereby you only get to participate IF you receive an invite from one of the members. Even if you are an Andy type and try and get your way in by reading what "they" read, dressing how "they" dress and talking how "they" talk, if you're not personally invited, you're not in.
This has been an ongoing battle for me in my life, wanting to be a part of a "club" or a group of friends, but enjoying being a floater and hanging out with ALL of the different groups. In high school I was friends with the jocks, the skaters, the loners, the preppies and even a few Gothics. I had 2 best-friends as my core, but having friends from all walks really kept my life interesting and edifying. I really like the idea of having a solid go-to group of friends but feel it can at times be pretty limiting, especially, for the extrovert in me who loves rather thrives on meeting new people.
However, there are pro's and con's to both the floater and the groupie. If you are part of a group when it comes to gatherings you are ALWAYS included because you're...a part of the group. You have friends that you go through life with and are woven tightly into your life story. Now if you don't go to a group gathering inevitably you will get harassed because it's a group gathering and when they mean group that means you. You also end up giving a lot of your social time to this group which for many is no big deal. The nice about a group, however, is you always belong somewhere.
For the floater, you get to go to a lot of different events with a lot of different people, which for me, can be a lot of fun. Trips, gatherings, parties, dinners, weekends all with different people BUT if it's a group thing you risk not getting invited because you're not a given as a part of "the group." Being a floater can take a little more effort simply because you have more people to stay in touch with if you choose to not be with a group and if you want more of a social life then sitting home and blogging about a scene in the office that reminded you of something or who knows what. But if you can make the effort life can be pretty spicy!
What does this have to do with anything? I've recently started with some other couples a "club" if you will. Part of the club is we do dinner once a month but it's not an open invite, which for me has already been quite the challenge. If one of the couples is interested in having another couple join, then you bring the other couple to some other hangout session so the club can see how things mesh. This is all so counter-intuitive to me because I have, for the most part, been a more the merrier type girl. Which, as many can attest to, has made for some rather awkward or not as comfortable as it could be gatherings. AND I am always along the lines of, I like 'em so everyone will like 'em.
For all of my life I have never prescribed to a group unless soccer or other sports count. I've liked my freedom of roaming but have envied the luxury of always being included. This new club I think will be a good balance where I have a group of friends to belong to while still being able to go out and do my floater thing...The Dinner Club..I guess we're pretty exclusive :)--@DP