KKK at Presidential Debate

This really shouldn't come as a shock to me, however, I am shocked. When the news reported the KKK was planning on attending the Presidential debate my face became long and sorrowful and my heart turned to Michelle Obama. I can only imagine as a wife and mother what she is feeling at this point. Somewhere in my idealistic spirit I would like to believe this ongoing display of ignorance, hatred and anonymity would come to a close. Watching movies like Mississippi Burning seem like a chapter of history that needs to be remembered so it is never again repeated. But not a story that continues to exist in our modern day in a more "appropriate form" meaning not blatantly murdering, coconspiring with the police and active cross and church burning.

No where in my rational or irrational brain do I find a place to wrap around hatred for skin color. No where. Yet it still lurks in the silence places of America. The Klan members chose to remain anonymous in their interviews, stated they would not be wearing their "clothing regalia" and people would just have to "guess" who they were. Additionally, they chose NOT to use the designated protest zone as a location to display their silly cross-burning antics. A cause that cannot be backed by a visible face and a name seems weak. Hiding behind statements that are said but not owned and sheets that show only calloused eyes by no means seems like a strong force in society. However, I'm sure those African-Americans or blacks (however you choose to define yourself) living in the south or other parts of the country where the Klan exists don't really care the size of the group. It's just knowing their is a hate group that exists where they despise you for no substantial reason. Knowing you can't' speak logic to someone or someones so illogical.

That takes me back to 2001, 21 years old, where I went to Atlanta, Georgia to meet my business partner at the time. He was black and I was white and rather than pretend we were the "same" we had great discussions about the differences that were present in both of our lives and how they effected us. I think it was through these conversations we connected at deep levels revealing more similarities and differences and opened doors beyond what we thought. He told me that as a black man or black community in Georgia, you tend to not go outside the "parameter" that loosely surrounds the full radius of Atlanta. He told me how a high school out the "parameter" was celebrating their first integrated prom in 2001 after a long fight the kids put up because the parents were still supporting segregation. My little naive Utah mind jumped wildly through the roof thinking, "What? This stuff doesn't still exist! People have evolved, moved on, let go!"

It is sad to me that it does and is present at the most incredibly diverse election. Even during the primary's we had a Mormon, a Woman, a Black Man--it was great! Not that anyone of these candidates it to be defined by their outward trait, but I'd feel amiss to not at least acknowledge for the first time we moved beyond the white, male candidates!

There was a fantastic article that explains more in depth about the history of where the presidential debate took place, Ole Miss or more formally, University of Mississippi. A historic place where desegregation began, and where James Meredith was escorted by US Marshalls to class as the first black man to attend the university. With a 16% black population as of today, the debate location was more than mere availability and geographic location.

It boils down to 2008 and we're still hearing about hate groups spending significant time and energy to perpetuate what...more hate. I hope to see the day where my children are not writing about the KKK or the significance of a diverse primary pool but that the norm is reestablished and we have moved on.--@DP

To read more from Time magazine, CLICK HERE

Lemmings

Alright. I'm going out on a small limb here but I need to voice a political observation. Not being pro-McCain but not in the Obama camp, I have some real issues with the Obama Lemming trend going on all around me. I see all these people LOVING Obama but when I ask them to tell me what they love about them, one maybe two can actually articulate reasons with substance as to why he has their vote. Most people love his idealism, his hope, his statements of change but no one seems to know about his international policies, domestic policies, his proposals at large. That makes me really nervous. I am all for idealism, but not ignorant idealism. I believe there is a place for substance based idealism and it's really not asking too much for me to expect the kids on Obama's "street team" camped around NY coffee shops to know a thing or two about their candidate. Everyone says he's inspired my generation to have a passion for politics but I highly disagree. If you know a thing or two about politics you realize change happens at the local level and moves to the national level. If my generation cared about politics, we wouldn't have had the national low for district voting. It's not that I am against Obama, but I am against the blind lemmings I am seemingly surrounded by. I am opening the forum to hear why people like Obama simply for the refreshing substance based opinions, not looking to disagree or agree, just looking to hear an actual perspective other than he's a celebrity, he has "soft eyes", he's an international superstar or he's just really going to make a change for this country.--@DP

Breast-Friends...

Good Morning America had a segment on "cross nursing" which is breast-feeding your friends or families babies. Not looking to make my judgment as of now, but honoring my initial knee-jerk reaction which is, "Hmmmm, this might be a little beyond my realm of comfort bordering on weird." As if I'm one to talk and be a noter of "weird", I think this topic warrants some good dialogue. So prior to putting out judgments, but acknowledging our initial reactions, let's just put some facts, arguments for or against out there, basically let's have some fun with this and intellectually grapple for a moment.

Totally Functional Vs. Relationship
If you look at breast feeding as a matter of function or in my sister's words, viewing "boobs as bottles" it would really be a matter of your children's friends "eating over at your house." It would boil down to smashed peas, carrots or breast milk? However, if you look at it in a relationship or attachment perspective, it feels like a really intimate experience with your baby that doesn't warrent sharing with others.

Health Concerns
The Le' Leche league doesn't support cross nursing due to the unknown disease and health risks associated with another mother's milk. Diseases such: HIV, TB, Hepatitis among others. They recommend if a mother can't breast feed but would like her babe to have breast milk, to obtain the resource from a "milk bank" where the milk is screened prior to distribution.

Bonding but not Sexual
Though the feeding is associated with "breasts", breast feeding is not a sexual act. Our society tends to sexual acts that simply arn't sexual in the orgasmic sense. Breast feeding is the natural form of feeding babies. Cross nursers feel a bond with the friends they share their breasts with.

With some of this initial information, what are you thoughts, reactions, facts?

Birthing Wars: Part II

BIRTH PLAN

My original birth plan was to birth with a Clinical Nursing Midwife. A nursing midwife goes through nursing school and typically/traditionally births (catches) in hospital. I really liked my midwife but didn't love the idea of birthing in a hospital. Like I said in part I, it's not that I feel hospitals are "bad", they're just not as conducive for the experience I was looking for. So after 2 of my 3 appointments canceled last minute (not for birthing babies either) and my midwife's assistant being fairly aloof and not returning phone calls I started to feel insecure and unsafe about the path I was currently on. The search began.

My friend Eden pointed me towards another new mom who loved her midwife and birthed in a birthing center. I had heard of birthing centers not too long ago and was intrigued at this middle-of-the-road option between a hospital and a home birth but dismissed the idea because my midwife didn't feel they were very safe nor could she birth there. (I'm learning in the whole CNM and CPM arena, it's a very us vs. them deal). This other mother used a Certified Professional Midwife*. A CPM goes through Midwifery school and has an intensive apprenticeship followed by taking an 8 hour licensing exam. Jake and I decided to meet with a couple CPM's to compare and contrast and get a feel for the one that felt right.

I met with one in the morning but she mostly did home births and typically didn't birth in birthing center. Though I am interested in birthing at home, for our family and our first baby, Jake and I thought a birthing center was a good starting point. She seemed great but there were a few concerns we had such as her quick dismissal of birthing in a birthing center and biases towards things such as vaccinations and things. I have my opinions as well, but because of my "client-centered" training for my profession, being supported in an informed choice big deal to me. I like to be informed, educated and empowered to make the choices right for me. The second one met with Jake and me in our home for an hour and a half answering all of our questions and concerns. She really struck a chord with me when I asked, "What is the difference, as you see it, between a birthing center, birthing suites and home birth?" She said, "You don't want me to discuss a hospital? I think it's important to talk about a hospital as well because it's not a bad option just different so let's talk about them all...then you decide." Halleluia! When it came to vaccinations she gave me material from an anti-source, a pro-source and a source that provided the pro's and con's of them all and a schedule. She eased Jake's concern of driving 40 minutes to get to a birthing center rather than dismissing it. I was elated! She was definitely the one for us.

So in a nutshell I will tell you my new birthing plan:

Natural Birth: Jake and I are going to learn the skills of Birthing from Within and Hypnobirthing to provide ourselves with a variety of tools and methods being we don't know what we are getting into. Hypnobirthing is a husband-coaching approach and Birthing from Within is not. Both offer complimentary tools so why not?

Birthing Center/Birthing Suite: I copied this from BellaNatal, our birthing center, because they explain this really well. Like a hospital or birthing center, BellaNatal Birthing Suites is a facility specifically designed to support the process of childbirth. But unlike a hospital or birthing center, at BellaNatal the care is separated from the facility in which that care occurs. This means your chosen provider is 100% responsible for your delivery and care. Why is that so great? Because this is the person you want to be responsible for you! This is the person you have chosen, the person you know and who knows you. Many women are surprised when they go to a hospital for their delivery and they don’t see their doctor until the last few minutes. Most care in a hospital is provided by nursing staff you’ve never met before. At BellaNatal, your provider will attend you for your entire labor.
We believe in the ability of healthy women to safely give birth in the setting of their choice, and we want to provide the most comfortable, supportive, and safe setting possible. We believe any facility in which women give birth should be flexible and accommodating to the needs of the mothers and babies who use it. We believe you and your care provider should make decisions regarding your care, not the facility. We believe normal healthy birth should not be expensive, and we have adopted a strategy to keep costs as low as possible.

Certified Professional Midwife: Cathy Larson! She can't deliver in a hospital but can do home or birthing center and actually apprenticed under the owner/founder of BellaNatal and my sister's current midwife! Small world, had no idea until making the connection later.

All of the other stuff such as wanting to be able to rub in the "white stuff" after birth (packed with vitamin K and other good stuff!!), not have my baby taken away, etc. are also part of my plan.

Another important thing to note, in the state of Utah you have to be deemed a "low-risk"pregnancy in order to deliver outside of a hospital. If issues arise, which they can be spotted early on, not as Hollywood would have us believe, you are transferred.--@DP

Birthing Wars: Part I

CHOOSING A BIRTHING PLAN

At 4 1/2 months into my pregnancy I have felt strongly impressed to switch my birthing plan and midwife. Not an ideal situation on any level. I have always planned on birthing naturally using the skills and tools of hypnobirthing, but was going to birth in a hospital because I liked my midwife. First things first. I am amazed that this is such a sensitive and
controversial topic among women. In the beginning I have shared with people I was going to birth naturally and so many were quick to shoot it down with, "Oh yea, I was planning on doing that too but there's no way..." "Good luck with that, let me know how that works out for you" OR just the "Oh..*nod* *nod*" My choice to birth natural is not an attack or judgment on anybody else's choice, it's just the beginning of many choices I will have to make as a mother that feel right to me. Really it's not a better than or best choice, it's just a different choice amongst the choices we have as women...and isn't that great we have choices?

I am also looking into birthing in a birthing center. I would consider doing a home birth, but I don't think our family is quite ready for that. I have been part of 4 home births all successful and simply have really good examples and experiences with them. When I tell people I would like to birth in a birthing center it's as though I have told them I am going to let my children play in the middle of a busy street. Hollywood has really done a number with dramatizing labor and giving us inaccurate visuals as the norm not the exception.
The bottom line is I have learned to be very selective with whom I discuss and share my thoughts with regarding this topic because rather than the conversations being one of dialogue and understanding they turn into debates, opinions and anger/fear.

I have thought through, researched and have many reasons as to why I feel it necessary to switch birthing plans halfway through my pregnancy. This choice is not based on popular or unpopular opinion for that matter, what someone else has done or is doing, or trying to make things more complicated then they need to be. My research isn't based on bias information or from the companies and/or agencies that are policitally aligned or financially invested.

Birthing a human being that on average can weigh between 6-8 lbs is a matter that for me can't be taken lightly. Nor is it merely a medical procedure. It's actually really unsettling to currently be without a midwife and navigating in unsupported, turbulent waters. But I know that all things uncomfortable cause movement to find comfort, security and a sense of peace.

"He Lives As Though He Has No Relatives"

Listening to a local afternoon show on KRCL I caught the tale end of a show regarding Bioneers. I tuned in right as a man was asking a Native American elderly woman the worst insult you could say to a Native American. Her reply, after giving some thought was, being told you live as though you have no relatives. This one line has stuck with me for the past 5 days. Living as though you have no relatives. Certainly you could take this and go concrete and literal implying you shun your biological or social "family." But, as I've allowed it to move around my mind, soul and heart, I believe the term "relative" and its implications are much broader, fluid and greater encompassing. I went to a website that shared some Native American spiritual beliefs that beautifully articulated what I was feeling:

The intention of Native American Spirituality is to strengthen ourselves, our relationships with our families, communities, nations and the Earth itself. The beliefs are for everyone "native" and "non-native" alike. We are all Earth's children with varying nationalities and ancestry. This is an invitation to be good stewards in this life, to respect such teachings along with honoring and respecting other "family" members and other's beliefs, all cooperating to work together for a united vision of peace. Peace is also seeing others with the eyes of the heart - spanning race, color and religion. The Spirit considers all things sacred, we are all One, all connected. So what we teach our children will be carried into generations to come.

To live as though you have no relatives disconnects you from yourself, your family, your beliefs, your community, nature and the earth. It is a survival of this fittest and no one will look out for you but yourself, you cannot depend on anybody but yourself, you are not responsible for anyone but yourself.

I think we as American's have lived as though we have no relatives, and as an entitled people. We have assumed the earth will continue on regardless of how much trash we dump, how many chemicals we dump into our waters and how many gases we spew into the air. That our country will always be the powerhouse regardless of how we treat our neighboring countries, how we handle our finances or how our values as a whole shift. That someone else will help out the person who needs to jump start their car, or someone else will feed that hungry family or visit the elderly person who has no family. What a wonderful place this world could become, what potential is out there, if we all lived as though we were related to everything and everyone. If we moved from selfish to selfless. If we didn't shun responsibility and took up our own accountability. The idealist in me says, start with yourself and impact 5 people who each impact 5 people and change could begin. And when that happens...what a beautiful world :) --@DP

Faith in the Little Pink PLUS Sign

Finding out your pregnant is a surreal moment in any woman's life. In fact finding out your not pregnant is equally as surreal because for most of us who do home tests, your fate rests in this little pink plus sign. You may test time and time again only to have one solo horizontal dash until that one day where two lines appear like trains colliding. Then the questioning. Are there really two perpendicular lines? Are they strong enough? Maybe it's just a shadow? Then subsequent "proof" tests follow to make sure you really are what it's saying: proof positive pregnant.

Even though I am experiencing some mild pregnancy symptoms, I'd say overall I'm feeling pretty good. But this little sign has become the captain of my ship. I am relying on its accuracy to help me make my decisions about my food, exercise, travel, and work. No immediate, tangible evidence. It's not like you find out your pregnant and you can suddenly feel a "kick" or feel inner movement. Especially not having experienced this 9 month life cycle before and experienced the fruits of this labor, I am really trusting my symptoms and my "sign" will in fact result in my little poppy seed turning into a beautiful baby with 10 fingers and 10 toes.

I always thought the day I would be a mother was the day I delivered my baby and held it in my arms. How different I feel now as I have had the opportunities for mothering moments even in this seedling stage. My mothering has begun. I have realized this little one is depending on me to look out for its overall well-being, making sacrifices and setting my priorities. I think about it and its pretty amazing in the overall scheme of things. It makes sense that you "grow" into motherhood. You have to start making small decisions and sacrifices relative to the stage of life. Decisions to not drink caffeine, eat sushi, or take Ibuprofen and to slow down on the athletic side of your life. At this point those decisions and sacrifices may be somewhat challenging, but the I'm sure the decisions and sacrifices will gradually increase as the baby increases in my belly and in my life. It's the same idea behind being overwhelmed with parenting five children. Unless you have quintuplettes, you will grow into FIVE children ONE baby at a time gradually developing and adapting new skills, abilities and confidence in you. So can I be a mother? At this point I'd say yes because on a small level the mysterious maternal instincts I have heard about seem to be present and my desire to do what's best seems to be in place. Even if its as small as a grain of rice, I am responsible to do the best on its behalf.

I am not sure if the manufactures of these little "in house" kits realize the power that lays within the little stick BUT the results are literally life changing. At this point I am not sure if I could have enough proof but I am sure grateful for the little pink plus sign.--@DP